Potty training tips

If you're afraid your child will still be in diapers by the time he or she gets married, you'll take comfort in these suggestions from BabyCenter parents. They've found creative and original ways to make potty training easier — and more fun.

Try a tune
We used the Once Upon a Potty video for our daughter. We sang the tune from the video all the time, especially when she went to the potty. She loved it. — Dianne

Sing their praises
We made up a little song that we sang every time our daughter sat on the potty. She loved it. When she finished, we would sing a different song identifying what she had done and telling her how proud we were of her. We also included several rounds of applause. It wasn't too long before she used the potty every time! — Christie

Read together
Lucy and I went to the bookstore and she picked out five books she really liked. We called these the potty books, and she could read them only when she sat on the potty. — Amy

Use a special potty
My second child caught on in two weeks. Her potty had a square in the bowl, which turned into a star every time fluid hit it. That was her big challenge, to make a star, and it became a game for her. — Angela

We found a wonderful training aid called Tinkletoonz. It plays happy music when hit with number one or number two. We had a lot of difficulty for several months, but this method worked like a dream. It is available at www.tinkletoonz.com. — Marion

Try a timer
My biggest help was to be consistent. We used a timer to help us both remember to go potty. We started with every 20 minutes, and as I could see he was needing to go less, gradually increased the time. Eventually, he would tell me he needed to go before the timer went off, or say he didn't need to when it did. Then we'd set the timer for five or 10 more minutes and try again. — Amy

Set up target practice
We put a flushable item, such as Cheerios or Fruit Loops, in the toilet. (You can also use shaving cream or colored ice cubes.) The game for our son was to aim and shoot. Rewards were based on accuracy and number of downed Cheerios (Fruit Loops added the extra challenge of shooting a particular color). It was fun and challenging, and did wonders for his accuracy! With BMs, we told him the game was to send in the backup troops (no pun intended) to finish the job with torpedoes. I doubt this would work with girls, but Alex took less than a week to be fully day-trained. — Roxann

The colored water trick
We dyed the toilet water with red or blue food coloring; it changes to orange or green and they love knowing that they did this. — Amy

Make them feel proud
With my daughter, I tried to focus on verbal praise: "What a big girl thing to do!" "You must be so proud of yourself." "Do you want to call Grandma to tell her?" "Give me a high five!" — Kirsten

With our son, the best and most motivational reward was calling in the dog to look at what he'd done in the potty! — Sharon

Use treats and surprises
Our daughter wasn't very consistent with toilet training until we introduced the surprise bag. We got a bunch of inexpensive toys and stickers and put them in a colorful gift bag. Every time she used the toilet, we would clap and tell her what a great job she did and let her pick one surprise out of the bag. We kept it up for about a week and a half, and when the surprises ran out she just kept on using the potty. We continued to praise her and she quickly forgot the surprise bag. I can honestly say that toilet training was painless and quick with this method, and I plan to use it again with my next child. — Jamie

I collected a bunch of inexpensive little toys in a dark pillowcase (so it wouldn't be see-through). When it came time to toilet train my 3-year-old son (an idea he was extremely resistant to), I would let him take one item from the pillowcase every time he went poop on the potty. This worked so quickly that within three weeks he was completely trained. Unfortunately, this method is not working with my daughter, who just turned 3. Why not? I don't get it. — Merita

We kept a container of our daughter Morgan's favorite little candy treat on her dresser. If she successfully used the potty, she would receive three of them (we'd let her pick the colors as well). Within a month she was using the potty regularly, with few accidents, and not long after that she was trained. — Lisa

My 28-month-old really loved my nail polish. I found some at the grocery store that would come right off when she washed her hands, so I let my toddler paint her fingernails every time she peed in the potty. I told her that when she pooed she could have some of Mommy's polish, which wouldn't wash off, on one finger. Ten days later, she was completely potty trained. — Lisa

What worked for my daughter, in just one week, was the treasure box/chest idea. I bought inexpensive toys such as puzzles, plastic animals, squirt guns, chalk, and a bug-catching container. When I got home we decorated the plastic container and I explained to her that when she went on the potty she'd get to pick a prize. She was so excited, and after just a week we had 100 percent success. — jamienicole87

Celebrate with stickers
To encourage our son Alexander to use the potty, we put a drawing of a racetrack on the wall (an approach suggested by his preschool). Every time he used the potty he got to place a sticker on the racetrack. When the racetrack was filled with stickers, he got to pick a toy at the store as a reward. — Cheryl

Put your child in charge
When my 18-month-old started going into the bathroom and closing the door, I knew she was about ready to toilet train. I would let her go in and use her potty, dump it into the big toilet, and put it up in the sink for me to rinse out. — Katherine

Make flushing fun
I began potty training my first child at about 20 months and am now in the process of training our second. One easy and excellent incentive is letting them flush the potty if they go. You need to establish a rule that this is the only time they get to flush. This is a simple and easy reward, and develops a needed habit. — Deanna

Sitting solution
We put our son Nick on the big potty backwards. The potty-chair was too hard for him to use (without the little guard, he would pee on the floor, and with it, he had trouble sitting down because his legs were so chubby). My mother came up with the idea of putting him backwards. That way he automatically aimed in the right place, and he had the back of the toilet to hold on to. If he had to go poopy he just scooted his bottom up a little more toward the tank. He thought it was so funny he wanted to do it all the time. It took about a month, and he never had an accident after that. — Melissa

Throw out the diapers
As a preschool teacher and mom, one of the best toilet training tips I can offer is to resist the temptation of using disposable "underwear," such as Pull-Ups, all the time. The children don't get uncomfortable when they are wet, and I've noticed that it severely prolongs potty training. Of course every child is different, but this is definitely a trend I've noticed while working with a gaggle of 20 2 1/2-year-olds! — Jenny

I put painter's plastic down on the carpets, then took off my 16-month-old's diaper. There were a number of accidents, but the cleanups were quick and easy because of the plastic. She soon caught on and was happy not to be in uncomfortable diapers! — Carmen

I had my son pick out underwear with his favorite character, Thomas the Tank Engine, on them. Then I told him not to get Thomas wet. It worked immediately! — Mania

My son was fully toilet trained at 3, except he wouldn't go poo in the toilet. I tried everything, and asked everyone. Finally one day we were shopping and he asked for boxers. I told him that if we got these he would have to use the toilet or it would get all over the place. That seemed to be the magic thing because ever since then he has had no more accidents. — Maile

I let my daughter wear undies every day until naptime, but I put plastic pants over them to prevent messes. In the beginning she wet several times a day and didn't like the feeling. I also gave her a nickel for her piggy every time she sat on the potty. She was trained by 20 months. — Rose

My daughter tortured me for months, using the potty successfully one day, then demanding diapers the next. Finally I told her that the pack of diapers we had just bought was the last, and I wasn't buying any more. We then picked out training pants. When we got down to the last few diapers, I again emphasized that they were the last and when they were gone there wouldn't be any more. We then went to training pants and to Drypers "sleeping undies" at night. She had a few accidents the first week and has been trained ever since! — Margaret

Dress her in dresses
A little trick with girls: I put my girl in dresses for about three weeks while we were training. It was easier for her to get ready for the potty and allowed for quick decisions when she was in the middle of playing. — Lisa

Give up to get results
Our daughter was 2 1/2 when we finally got her trained. We tried everything in the book. She wanted to wear underwear but not go to the potty. Finally we said, "Go ahead and do what you want." Two days later, she started using the potty on her own, with no encouragement from us! — Tasha

Potty training: What doesn't work

Reviewed by Sarah Pearson, M.D., August 2006

To make potty training as smooth a process as possible for you and your toddler, take a moment to learn about not only what works, but what doesn't:

Starting too soon

Starting potty training before your toddler is ready will only make it more difficult and prolong the process. There's no magic time when it's right to begin. Most toddlers have the necessary physical and mental skills between 18 and 24 months, while some aren't ready until they're closer to age 3 or even 4. Keep an eye out for physical, cognitive, and behavioral signs that your toddler is set to give it a try.

It may take up to three months to potty-train your child, and it's important to be patient and supportive throughout. If you've been trying for three months without success, your toddler may not be ready — wait a few weeks and try again.

Starting at the wrong time

It's not a good idea to begin training a week before the new baby is due, when you're changing caregivers, or during any other disruptive time in your child's life. Toddlers are creatures of routine, and any changes to the usual program are likely to cause setbacks.. So wait until things have settled down before you start.

Putting on the pressure

If your toddler has started to show an interest in potty training, that's great. But don't push her to get through it faster than she can handle. If she gets nervous, she could start holding in her stool, which can lead to constipation and other problems.

Let her take her time and get used to this new, multipart process step by step. She'll move from one stage to the next at her own speed. It's fine to try to motivate with gentle reminders and encouragement, but if she balks, don't push it.

Following your mother-in-law's timetable

It will get harder with each week, but no matter how many times you hear your parents, your in-laws, or someone else from an earlier generation tell you that you should hurry up and start training, let it roll off your back.

Potty training methods have changed a lot in the last 40 years, and what was standard practice when you were a child is no longer the norm. These days it's typical to wait for signals your child is ready rather than impose a schedule of your own. And research suggests children can't voluntarily control the muscles for their bladder and rectum until they're at least 18 months old.

So if you hear any more stories about Cousin Jim's son who was trained by his first birthday, smile, nod, and say, "We have a plan. We're not worried about it." For support and advice from other parents, visit our potty training community forum.

Punishing your child

It won't accomplish a thing to get angry or penalize your toddler if she's not interested in training, won't sit on the potty, has an accident, or has any of the other common problemskids have while potty training. Setbacks are natural, and scolding will only make her less interested in training — she'll be afraid any mistakes will upset you. If you can, respond to messes and other challenges calmly — and if you can't, bite your tongue and count to ten, then try again.

Potty training in three days or less

It sounds like a dream or a gimmick, doesn't it? The idea that your child could get comfortable using the potty in a few days – or even one afternoon – may seem unbelievable to parents expecting potty training to be a lengthy and difficult process.

But "quick-training" works for many parents – and it isn't a recent trend. Psychologists Nathan H. Azrin and Richard M. Foxx published the book that started it all, Toilet Training in Less Than a Day, in 1974.

Since then, numerous experts have spun off their own accelerated potty training methods. Here we'll explain one technique -- the "potty training in three days" strategy outlined in Julie Fellom's Diaper Free Toddlers program – and give step-by-step instructions on how to make it work for you.

One thing to keep in mind: Using this or other quick-training methods doesn't mean that your child will be perfectly potty trained in days. Instead, "success" is more likely to mean that your child is using the potty rather than diapers, but he may still have accidents and you'll need to help him with parts of the process.

Helping your child become fully comfortable using the potty independently – and teaching steps such as how to pull his pants down and back up, empty the potty, and wash his hands – probably will take months of follow-up effort. (And some skills, such as pulling pants up and down without help, won't be possible for younger toddlers.)

It's best to think of the three days as the kick-off to an ongoing process. The most important thing to remember is that there's no "correct" way to potty train your child – except for the one that works for you and your family.

About the Diaper Free Toddlers program

Fellom, a San Francisco preschool teacher, started Diaper Free Toddlers in 2006 after potty training more than 100 children. Her primary motivation is to keep disposable diapers out of landfills by helping parents potty train their children earlier. Her method can work for kids as young as 15 months old, and is most effective for those younger than 28 months, Fellom says.

To participate in her program, parents (or a single parent and another supportive adult, such as a grandparent or caregiver) attend a two-hour class in the evening. Then each family has its own three-day potty training weekend at home. Within a week or two after the long weekend, Fellom says, children will be able to reliably go to the potty to pee or poop and have few, if any, accidents.

If you can't take Fellom's San Francisco-based class, you can still put her method to work for you. See the "How to potty train in three days" section below.

First: Are you ready for potty training?

Fellom's technique requires commitment, focus, and dedication. It's a "bare-bottomed" method, meaning that for three months after you initiate potty training, your child will need to go naked below the waist when he's at home and wear just loose-fitting pants with nothing underneath when he's out and about or at daycare.

Diapers and training pants are okay for nap time and bedtime, but if you rely on them more often you'll undo your potty training progress, Fellom says.

"If you really want this to work, it only works naked," Fellom says. "There are absolutely no pants in the house for the first three months."

That said, some parents aren't comfortable with this requirement and find ways to work around it. Check out the comments section at the bottom of this article for their tips.

What you'll need for your potty training weekend

You'll need standalone potty chairs to use at home (ideally one for every main area where you spend time, plus any bathrooms), plenty of water or diluted juice to drink, and snacks that encourage peeing (either salty ones that make you thirsty, such as crackers, chips, and cheese puffs, or foods with high water content such as watermelon and Popsicles).

You'll also want to have supplies for cleaning up accidents (such as rags, cleaning solution, and a plastic bucket) and several pairs of loose-fitting pants for your child to wear when you go out of the house.

Optional: It's helpful to have a compact, portable travel potty to take out and about, though you could use a small standalone potty chair instead. 

You may want to put a small towel or absorbent pad over your car seat to protect against accidents. Some parents use products such as the Piddle Pad, but Fellom recommends a small sheepskin like the ones sold at Ikea. Cut the sheepskin in half, then cut it to fit around the car seat straps and buckle, and you'll have a very absorbent, washable, reusable pad.

Finally, if it's cold where you live, you may want to have space heaters on hand, as well as kneesocks or leg warmers – such as BabyLegs – for your child to wear so he'll stay warm while he's bare-bottomed at home.

How to potty train in three days

A month or so before you start:

Check that your child is demonstrating signs that he's ready for potty training. For Fellom, this includes staying dry for two or more hours at a time, asking to use the potty, refusing to be diapered, and pooping at a regular time each day. Fellom prefers to use her method with children younger than 28 months, saying that after this age they may be more resistant to potty training, but she also works with older kids.

"It's pretty much guaranteed to work for children who try it before 28 months," Fellom says. "The closer you get to age 3, the less likely it is to work."

Clear your schedule and plan to spend an entire long weekend – all three days – focused on potty training. Cancel regular weekend activities, and make sure your potty training partner can be around all the time for at least the first two days to help out.

Make up a "potty dance" with your potty training partner. The goal is to celebrate your child's successes and give him an incentive to continue, so the dance can be anything from a modified end-zone chicken dance to a full-on rumba with accompanying song – whatever feels right to you.

Two to five weeks before your potty training weekend, start educating your child about using the potty. When you, your partner, or another family member needs to use the bathroom, take your child along so he can observe how you pull down your pants and underwear, sit on the potty, pee or poop into it, wipe yourself, pull up your pants and underwear, flush the toilet, and wash your hands. You can even have your partner accompany you and your child into the bathroom and do the potty dance for you after you go.

"If the parents do the potty dance for each other, the child understands that it's fun and sort of a 'family event' when a family member uses the potty," Fellom says.

You can also use family pets to demonstrate the concept of going to the potty to your child. Point out when your pet is going to the potty in an appropriate place, such as a litter box or a spot outside.

Buy several potty chairs or arrange to borrow some from friends and relatives. Put a potty in every main room and bathroom in your home.

The week before you start:

Show your child a stack of diapers and explain that starting Saturday (or whenever you schedule your three days to begin), there will be no more need for diapers and that he can be naked and diaper-free. Present this as a fun and exciting development, Fellom advises, as in, "When these are all gone, you don't have to wear diapers anymore! You can be naked!"

"One of the reasons this method works so well -- and why it's called Diaper Free Toddlers -- is that children this age love to be naked. They don't give a hoot about potty training. Their goal is to be naked and diaper-free," Fellom says.

On day one of potty training:

Get up with your child as soon as he wakes up. For the rest of the day, have him go naked below the waist. You and your partner spend the day taking turns watching your child for signs that he needs to pee or poop. When he starts to go, whisk him to the nearest potty.

Throughout the day, have everyone eat salty snacks or foods with high water content and drink a lot of liquids so they have to pee often.

Any time you or your partner needs to use the bathroom, take your child in with you. Demonstrate how you pull down your pants and underwear, sit on the potty, pee or poop into it, wipe yourself, pull up your pants and underwear, flush the toilet, and wash your hands.

Celebrate your child's success any time he gets a "hit" on the potty – meaning that some amount of pee or poop, even a few drops, goes into the potty rather than on the floor. When this happens, do your potty dance. You can also give praise, high-fives, and so on. After ten to 12 hits, Fellom says, kids usually get it and start to use the potty independently.

If your child has an accident, don't say, "It's okay." Instead, say in a mildly disappointed voice, "Poop/pee goes in the potty," and help your child clean it up by placing your hand over his. But don't yell at him or shame him for having accidents: They will happen.

Before nap time and bedtime, tell your child it's time to go potty (never ask your child, because he'll usually say no). Put a diaper on your child before he goes to sleep, unless you feel confident that he'll remain dry.

On day two of potty training:

Follow the instructions for day one. The only difference is that on day two you can all go outside together for one hour in the afternoon. Wait until your child pees in the potty, then head out immediately.

"You want to link using the potty with getting to leave the house," Fellom says. This way you can "train your child to pee on command" before you go out.

When you go out, have your child wear loose pants with nothing underneath – no diapers, training pants, or underwear. Your goal is to make it out and home accident-free, without having to use the potty while you're out, but bring spare clothes in case you're not so lucky.

Fellom advises sticking close to home and not going in the car. Take a walk in your neighborhood (even just around the block) or head to a nearby park. Bring a portable travel potty with you, in case your child says he needs to go while you're out, but that's fairly unlikely at this early stage.

On day three of potty training:

Follow the instructions for day one, but on day three your family can go out for an hour in the morning and another hour in the afternoon. Each time, have your child use the potty just before leaving the house.

Again, when you're out have your child wear loose pants with nothing underneath. Bring your travel potty and a change of clothes.

After your potty training weekend

After the long weekend, expect that your child will usually take himself to the potty when he has to go, or tell you or your partner that he needs to do so. But to seal the deal, some follow-up needs to happen.

For the next three months, have your child go naked below the waist when you're at home. (You can use diapers for naptime and nighttime as needed.) When out – including at daycare – have your child wear loose pants with nothing underneath.

Fellom believes that training pants and underpants feel like diapers to a child, and that using them before three months have passed encourages your child to start peeing in them again. After three months with no accidents, your child can start wearing underpants and no longer needs to go bare-bottomed at home.

When you're out and about, keep your portable travel potty in the car and be aware of public bathrooms nearby. You can use a potty training seat on public toilets if you like (the kind that fits over the toilet seat and helps kids feel more secure on adult-size toilets), but it's not necessary. Instead, just help steady your child on the toilet and wash your hands and your child's afterward.

What if your potty training weekend doesn't do the trick?

If your child doesn't have the hang of using the potty after your potty training weekend, Fellom recommends waiting six to eight weeks and trying again.

Says Fellom: "If your child is having less than a 75 percent success rate or worse, or doesn't seem to notice the pee running down her leg, stop and try again later."

Pros and cons of potty training in three days

The upside

Fellom's potty training weekend can be a helpful and easy-to-follow way to jump-start your potty training process. If you’ve dreaded potty training, worried about how to start, or wondered how to teach your child to actually use the potty rather than just sit on it, Fellom's approach may be a godsend.

Even with follow-up and setbacks, the method works quickly compared with other approaches. This has many benefits: You'll save yourself time and frustration, your child will be proud of his accomplishment and independence, and you'll save money and help the planet by eliminating diapers earlier.

Fellom's approach doesn't use treats or other rewards (other than an enthusiastic potty dance), so it can help you avoid having to bribe your child into using the potty.

This method accentuates the positive and provides opportunities for celebration right from the start – you dance exuberantly even when just a little poop or pee makes it into the potty. This helps make potty training fun and exciting for your child, and may win over a child who has resisted using the potty or never shown interest.

The downside

Being mostly housebound for three days while you watch your child's every move and whisk him to the potty is draining. (It gets easier, however, once your child learns to take himself to the potty, which can happen after the first day or so of training).

It may be hard for two working parents to both get the day off to devote to potty training and, if it doesn't work the first time around, to take another day off six to eight weeks later.

Depending on your childcare situation, it may be hard to complete the follow-up process. You may have to negotiate with your childcare provider to keep your child out of diapers, underwear, and training pants while he's in their care. 

The requirement that you keep your child bare-bottomed while at home may be inconvenient or downright difficult – particularly if you live in a cold climate and are trying Fellom's method in the wintertime. To avoid skyrocketing heating bills or a chilly child, you may want to wait for warm weather before having your potty training weekend.

Tips for potty training success

To make Fellom's method work for you, parents who've used it advise:

"Have a no-returns attitude. You have to say this is totally it and be fully committed that weekend." – Antje

"Don't spend so much time dreading it. It went so much easier than we ever thought it would. If I'd known how easy it was I'd have investigated it sooner. [Using Fellom's approach] totally took away our fear about potty training." – Teresa

"Pick a part of your house that has wood, tile, or linoleum floors that are easy to clean. Set up a bunch of your child's toys and activities and get comfortable. We spent almost the whole weekend in our kitchen and it worked really well – we could clean up accidents easily and keep the room warm with a space heater. We also made cookies!" – Marcella

"Make it a party atmosphere ... something exciting [for your children]." – Antje

"Think, 'I'd rather suffer through three exhausting days than suffer for months.'" – Jeanine

Other potty training approaches

If you're interested in quick-training, here are some alterations to Fellom's method that might make the process work better for you:

• Instead of a potty dance, use other rewards, such as stickers, treats, or the promise of big-kid underwear.
• Instead of taking your child into the bathroom with you, use a wet-on-command doll to demonstrate the process of peeing on the potty. Toilet Training in Less Than a Dayexplains how to do it.
• To get help, check out websites and books from experts like Narmin Parpia and Teri Crane. If you're in the Chicago area, you can consider Wendy Sweeney's Booty Campprogram.

If you decide against the quick-training approach, there are plenty of other options for potty training. If you'd like to start earlier, when your child is still a baby, there's infant potty training and pediatrician Jill M. Lekovic's Diaper-Free Before 3 program, based on the 2006 book of the same name.

There are also plenty of ways to train toddlers and older kids more gradually. Check out our information on potty training your toddler and potty training your preschooler for signs of readiness, do's and don'ts, ways to start, handling accidents, potty training boys and girls, and more.